All Revelation –and perceptions.
The other day I was at the New Year Day celebration with my family, the Japanese celebration osechi-ryōri, a day of eating traditional Japanese fare.
I had told my son earlier on the phone that I had bought a external hard drive for my computer, but was having trouble setting it up. I kept getting an “error” message.
In an exasperated tone, he said “Bring it down with the computer to the New Year Day celebration and I will set it up. “ In this techie world of younger people, I find that they are condescending to their elders, non-techie parents.
Personally, I am proud of my techie abilities and the fact that I can accomplish most technical problems that are impossible for most of my peers.
In the past, my daughter-in-law, who is not a techie expert; my son, his brother-in-law and sister-in-law have worked in the field of computers are often impatient with their elders unable to grasp the concept of the new technologies and usually treat us in a dismissive manner.
Often, when I have a tech problem and take it to my son asking for help, it turns out that it isn’t me who doesn’t “Get it”, but the problem stems from a defective piece of machinery.
So, once again I took my problem to my son on New Year’s Day and he wasn’t able to resolve it. I told him I get a sense of schadenfreude when this happens, making me smile and feel less of a non techie and that I am capable of understanding, to a greater degree than originally given credit.
I don’t think he appreciates my feeling this way. It only dawned on me the next day that my perceptions about feeling good about my ability might be perceived differently. What message is he hearing? Is it that his mother is besting him or that she doesn’t want him to be successful?
I realize that I was feeling “true” schandenfreude: feeling good at his expense.
This was a revelation to me. Never considering how he might be reacting to my pleasure. I realize it is time for me to change.
The other revelations I had recently occurred within a few minutes of each other. On Friday, my phone rang early in the morning. I answered and the person on the other end inquired, “Is Dave there?” My response was “I’m afraid you have the wrong number.” The caller’s response, “Oh, that’s all right.”
Right after that I was watching Good Morning America. They were reporting a story of a 6’5”, 28 year old man who stood on a flight from, I believe, New Jersey to Florida because he couldn’t fit into his seat. He bought an economy ticket on Spirit Airline and Spirit Airline seat separation is 28” from the seat in front. All other airlines have a separation of 31”. The young man’s knees were crushed by the seat in front of him and for safety reasons he wasn’t able to sit sideways, keeping his feet in the aisle. No one in the bulkhead seats would change seats with him, so he was allowed to stand the whole flight except for takeoff and landing.
In the reportage of their story, the reporter asked people on the flight and people in the street what they thought of this. Each one said, “He should have bought a First Class Ticket.” No one was sympathetic to his plight, or angry at the airline. The GMA commentators joined in without anyone commenting on the fact that air travel has become equivalent to being transported in a cattle car. They did however, report that the FAA was looking into what rules might have been broken by permitting him to stand all the way.
Revelation: The victim in our society has now become the perpetrator of his own problems.
When did one feel it is “All right” to intrude on someone? What has happened to “I’m sorry for dialing the wrong number and disturbing you”?
Although we have made strides with equal rights, women’s rights, gay rights, our basic human rights seem to be eroding. To listen to the radio and hear call-in callers state that those people on unemployment should go out and get a job and that getting unemployment checks stops them from finding work. Hearing bright people repeat these falsehoods being pandered by the media powers to be, I stop and wonder if it is different now than during the depression of ’29? Did man’s lack the compassion for his fellowman the same as now? Have we lost our sense of community?
Often it is said that the times set the media and that books are written about society and media reflects society. One of today’s revelation is that media is creating our society, no longer reflecting it.
My late friend, Jack Danahy starred in a short film, A Table is a Table directed by my friend Diego Quemada-Diez. In it a lonely man who lives by himself decides to occupy himself by renaming things he knows, thus creating a new language. He calls his table a painting, the painting a chair, the chair a pencil. After a while he has created his own language and when on a rare occasion he goes out into the world he no longer understands language nor could he be understood—thus becoming further isolated. As time goes by, I understand this film more and more.
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